We're all eager to find that special one-of-a-kind love and enter a fairy tale world of castles, unicorns and bliss. But even veterans of long-term marriages confess that no relationship is perfect. Even so, nothing can beat the feeling of being with a trusted, devoted and adoring partner. You deserve that. Why is it so hard to find?
You could be searching for love among individuals with certain destructive personality behaviors that are preventing you from attaining happiness.
Guard your heart. Don't offer it to anyone who demonstrates that they don't have room in their life to make you a top priority.
Review this list of actions and conduct in potential mates that could be derailing your hopes of finding a forever Valentine:
1. The Controller: Steer clear of the person who needs to manage and direct all activities. Do they insist on being the one to always run the show, make the plans? Keep away from the Regulator.
2. The Blamer: It's never their fault, is it? When an argument or spat with a friend or co-worker arises does this person shirk responsibility for their actions? Do they perpetually stoke the flames of discontent?
3. The Critic: Does this potential mate continually nitpick and knock you, your friends and colleagues? Avoid this naysayer. Look for an individual who will be supportive and constructive.
4. The Historian: Do they bring up painful memories? Do they chronicle sad times. There is a reason we call it "the past" and some things need to stay there without being dredged up.
5. The Judge: Do they assume the role of Preacher or Lecturer? It's not pleasant to listen to a sermon on one's behavior, lifestyle or activities. Ditch those who moralize and tell others what to do.
6. The Know-It-All: No one likes a braggart or show-off. Your true love should be humble about their accomplishments. One can be proud but not boastful.
7. The Whiner: Yes, the world is a tough place, but does your partner complain 24/7 about life, family, the menu? This is tedious. They might not have everything they want, but they probably have what they need.
8. The Barnacle: Do they grip and cling and won't let go of you? Do they fear you're putting more interest in a hobby, sport, circle of friends, family? Dodge this leech. Find a love that will encourage you to enjoy your life as they find interests to enjoy themselves.
9. The Boor: Do they disrespect your time? If they are continually late for events, dinners, social appointments? Are they guilty of bad manners? Do they interrupt people? Fail to answer texts in timely fashion? Cut in line? You need to be appreciated.
10. The Boulder: Are they stuck, trapped, caught in emotional cement? They are the immovable stone suffering from the "I was gonna'" syndrome. They need to make plans and move their life forward. Don't attach yourself to these emotional anchors. You have a right to live a life full of joy and be loved.
(The Painting, "A Universe of Love Inside A Rose," is by Phoebe Legere. Learn more about Phoebe's art, music and award winning film, "Gender Symphony" at phoebelegere.com)